PSAT and SAT Switch to Phone Text-Twitter Format

PRINCETON, WV – In the latest effort to keep PSAT and SAT exams for college-bound students relevant with today’s teens, beginning this fall all tests will be conducted entirely by hand-held wireless phones with Internet browser capabilities using a Twitter interface. The College Board (TCB), creator of these flagship exams, today announced an agreement with the über-popular texting site, Twitter, to conduct future college entrance exams using Twitter technology.

TCB is making the format switch to take advantage of the latest university studies which correlated teen phone texting prowess with high IQ, superior college grades, and lofty post-graduation starting salaries. Ivy League administrators acknowledged that a phone-Twittering SAT will provide a critical tool for identification of the best-and-brightest students they so richly covet.

“We know that the business world is evolving into an ultra-brief, ultra-rapid mindset, so what better tool for our universities to pinpoint scholars with those cutting edge capabilities than with a phone Twitter SAT?” asked Newton Einstein, TCB Chairman. “With our usual aggressively short testing time allotments, those scholars who can read, think, and text the answers quickest will score the highest. Phone texting proficiency is absolutely critical, both for SAT success, and for a stellar business career.”

The latest TCB study materials recommend that teens ramp up their phone texting skills by practicing for increasingly longer hours in the weeks leading up to exam day. Teens need to build their thumbs’ keying accuracy, strength, and stamina to ensure the highest possible exam outcome. Parents must ensure that their children are equipped with the latest wireless phones, fastest internet service, and above all, a fully charged battery on exam day.

06.24.09

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