Internet Road to Riches Revealed For the Truly Ignorant

GREEDIS, OK - Ever wonder why there are sixty-nine ka-jillion web sites on the Internet? More than there are people on the planet? The answer is simple, poor, ignorant friends. Money. Oodles and schmoodles of money. Sexy, voluptuous money. There for the easy taking. From Internet ads. On your own web site. Duh.

So said the experts at today’s online conference, I’m Stinking Rich and You Just Stink. All you need to do is get a domain name, build a site, toss in some content, and load your pages up with ads. Just a few minutes up front and a few bucks a month are all that’s required. Then you can kick back and wait for those dump trucks full of ad cash to start backing into your driveway. Bwa-ha-ha-ha. With luscious, delicious money. For you. Pitiful, loser you.

The totally clueless are asking, about now, but how do I get a domain name, build a web site, and get the ads to post? Easy as mother’s milk, young grasshopper. Just enter those terms on Google, Bing, Yahoo, or whatever your search engine, and you’ll find more info, sources, and guidance than you can shake your weak, penniless, bony fists at.

The Internet mavens this morning preached that the key to success is strong content. Simply make sure it’s catchy and of wide interest. Marketing tip numero uno came from net guru I.M. Sleezy, who said, “Sex sells. Maybe build your site around the mating habits of the banana slug. Or the wanton promiscuity of rabbits. Even test cooking oils or dessert toppings as lubricants. Dare to be bold and different.”

Once your site is built, up, and running, your chosen ad provider will automatically insert ads related to the content of your pages. The billion or two people around the world with Internet access will then flock to your über-interesting site, click on the ads, and the road to riches will soon roll right up to your door. Ka-ching.

It’s that easy. Yes, you too, wretched moron though you may now be, can become an enormously successful cyberspace entrepreneur. Just follow the advice above. Then, how will you spend all that money? Lusty, alluring money. Raw, passionate money. Titillating, beautiful money….

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