BiWF ISO EZ GOVT POS

Deer Senator,

OMG. I can’t believe I’m talking 2 a real life, like, governatorial big shot. Anyhoo, I’m calling cuz I totally need a job. Cuz, like, I’m 24 and Mom n Daddo r kicking me out. Can U help?

Just like U, I’m way smart. Working hard is for dumb people. I ‘mnot dumb. I got lotsa skillz, so I no I got what U need. I just wanna ez govermint job in ur office. Won that pays lots and has lotsa perks.

Ima good liar. I can make lotsa promises I no I can’t keep. And keep a straight face.

I’m really good spending money I don’t have. Like buying lotsa stuff on credit.

I got a totally big bed. King sized. I no it’ll hold lotsa money under neath it.

Like the title sez, I’m bi. So I’m good at being a special friend. When ever u kneed 1. Like 2 make a deal with a lobbyst or righter. BTW, I gotta King size bed.

And I like 2 travel. Specially 2 warm places. Like the beach. People say my boobs r big, but I dont think so.

Can U hire me?

Luv,

Sue-Z

09.15.10

tags: satire, fake news, humor, comedy, funny, spoof, politics, political satire, senator, job, hire, government, boobs