exclusively featuring our own original designs

Babies With Attitude!
clothes, bibs, and blankets for infants & toddlers

hot off the presses and in stock

click on image to shop

Baby Union By-Laws graphic close-up	Baby's Wish baby blanket
Master of Your Universe short-sleeve snap-bottom	I Came Out For This? onesie
It's Payback Time! baby bib	Silly Daddy long-sleeve snap bottom

items available in a choice of designs, sizes, and colors

Pirates Seize
Coffee Supertanker,
US in Peril

In a mere fourteen days the mighty United States has been brought to its knees. With tortured, writhing, horribly ugly addiction withdrawal symptoms, to be precise.

Since Caribbean pirates assailed and hijacked the USS Achilles Heel, the world’s largest coffee supertanker bound for Manhattan just two weeks ago, America’s lifeblood cups of Joe have dwindled faster than Krispy Kreme doughnuts at a Sheriff’s convention.

Dear ol’ Uncle Sam, no longer able to function without his normal double-grande-with-mocha-and-cream Java-induced hyperactive buzz, was last seen curled in the fetal position on a closed Starbucks sidewalk, fitfully sobbing, sweating profusely, shaking with tremors, and sucking both thumbs.

Pirates Seize Coffee Supertanker continues...

Mad Scientists Lust
For Female Aphrodisiac

KUMSHAGG, ME – Since the dawn of time, when the caveman first became erect, males have been frustrated and angered by women’s complete lack of interest in sex.

In recent decades, pharmaceutical researchers have doggedly sought a substance which would end this desire disparity by stimulating the female libido, hopefully leading to improved sexual satisfaction and quality of life for both partners. Dr. Needah Lay of the Blue Balls Institute this morning discussed his lab’s discoveries in this field.

“Early Institute researchers first scoured the zoological literature, looking for any species where the females are the sexual aggressors,” Dr. Lay said. “They found only one, the praying mantis. Unfortunately, in that case, after luring her mate and copulating, the female praying mantis then kills and eats the male. Our scientists admittedly were a tad leery of pursuing that lead.”

Nevertheless, pursue it they did.

Mad Scientists Lust continues...

NASCAR Adds New Jersey Turnpike Event Next Year

CHARLOTTE - In what is certain to become the ultimate test for its cars and drivers, NASCAR today announced the addition of a new event to begin next year, the Independence Day Jersey Drive-By Shootout.

Having long sought to increase interest and gain stock car racing fans in the densely populated Northeast, this new NASCAR event will be held right on the New Jersey Turnpike.

Starting at the foot of the Delaware Memorial Bridge at the southern Turnpike terminus, the race will scream straight up the highway to East Rutherford, where the cars will loop through the toll plaza before storming back south. Racers will then repeat the circuit, making the total length 450 miles.

To add breathtaking excitement and a dose of reality TV to the race, the Turnpike will remain open to normal car and truck traffic during the event. Since normal Turnpike speeds average close to that of the NASCAR Car of Tomorrow’s top speeds, experts expect super-exciting side-by-side racing. And with your typical NJ driver’s finely honed, aggressive driving skills—rapid lane changes, passing in breakdown lanes, bump and run, incredible acceleration—NASCAR drivers figure to face a white-knuckle task of trying to pick their way through and pass the New Jersey natives in their natural element.

Jersey Drive-By Shootout continues...