Distance runners, Humor Volcano's store shares your pain.

Mugs, Steins, Clothing & More.

Click Image

front view

rear view

Go wild with Humor Volcano custom designed merchandise

Mugs, Steins, & More

Click Image

front view

rear view

Phillies Desperate, Trade for Ghanan Mojo Specialist

Swap Chris Wheeler for Voodoo Doctor

PHILADELPHIA—Bill Veeck Jr., baseball’s reigning free-thinker of the past century, the genius behind famed midget batter Eddie Gaedel, has finally been one-upped. Who’da thunk it possible? Yet Philadelphia Phillies GM Ruben Amaro Jr. did just that, pulling off the wildest move in baseball history by trading long-time Phils television announcer Chris Wheeler for Ghana FIFA soccer head voodoo doctor Afadjato Kwahu.

In the team’s noon radio show this past Thursday, Amaro admitted that “These are desperate times, indeed, since the Phillies are sinking so fast in the NL East.” The GM insisted that “We had to make an extraordinary move to get our mojo back. We’ll miss Wheels, sure, but you’ve got to give top talent to get top talent. We had to shake this team up in a big way.”

Phillies' Ghanan Mojo Specialist continues...

07.24.10

LeBron James Fesses Up, "April Fools, Cleveland!"

Just Kidding!

CLEVELAND—In possibly the greatest hoax of all time, NBA superstar LeBron James today admitted that his recently announced move to play for the Miami Heat was nothing more than a big April Fools joke, although a little late. “Just kidding! Me having some fun with you media knuckleheads. You cats’ll believe anything,” he smirked. LeBron swears emphatically that he’s staying put as a Cleveland Cavalier. “I’ll see everybody at the Q in October, just like always.”

Loves a Good Joke

James revealed the truth this morning in an exclusive interview with ace reporter Joshua Lyre from his favorite comedy website HumorVolcano.com over coffee at the Krispy Kreme close to LeBron’s mansion. “That bit y’all wrote about me joining Irish step dancing, absolutely hilarious. I do so love a good joke,” LeBron began with a hearty laugh.

LeBron James Fesses Up continues...

07.23.10

Test Tube Babies Demand Own Holiday

Considered freaks of nature, even partially inhuman, from the day they were born, they’ve been fighting tooth and nail for mainstream equality and acceptance ever since. Now numbering some 3 million worldwide, they’ve banded together and recently escalated their battle to a truly terrifying level. To appease their wretched lives of mistreatment and neglect, these legions of angry, tortured souls swear that they will accept nothing less than a full blown, glorious holiday of their very own. One complete with pretty cards and floral bouquets. Or else.

Test Tube Babies continues...

07.19.10

Cute Baby Incapacitates Party Dude

By C.M. Cain

EL NINO, TX - A local young man, Gene Y*, remains institutionalized in the Hombre Happy House following his tragic collapse at a house-warming party just north of town on Saturday afternoon. Found face down in a pile of dirty diapers by fast-arriving emergency responders, Mr. Y was quickly resuscitated, but had obviously suffered severe mental trauma.

The incident began as the 26-year old visited one of his many sets of newlywed friends in their newly purchased home. Witnesses recounted the unfortunate events afterward.

After greeting and mingling with the numerous other age twenty-somethings in attendance, Gene rowdily asked the host, “Yo, man. Where’s the keg?” The quick reply, “Dude. Are you joking? No keg. There’s a baby here,” apparently shook Mr. Y to the core. The angry young man then stomped inside to confront the newborn resident about this serious breach in party etiquette.

(*Mr. Y’s family wishes his fragile identity to remain anonymous until the nice men in white let him out of the straight jacket.)

Cute Baby continues...

07.13.10

Taliban Under Hellacious Family Jewels Attack

BADA BLING, Afghanistan - U.S. General Julian Tiffany III confidently mounted his Abrams M-1 tank late this morning to lead his warriors into what should be the Afghanistan war’s decisive battle, his diamond- and ruby-studded gold epaulet stars, cufflinks, and neckerchief gleaming in the desert sun. “Two objectives, boys and girls,” he shouted with a noticeable lisp. “One, let’s blow these Taliban weenies to Never-Neverland. Two, thar’s gold in them thar hills. Make Mommy and Daddy proud.”

Tiffany’s impetus was a June front page article in the New York Times detailing a whopping trillion dollars worth of gold, copper, and other precious metal ores discovered in the Afghanistan mountains. Just lying there. The news lit a nuclear warhead under high U.S. honchos from Kabul to Washington, who immediately began screaming for immediate Taliban annihilation and immediate, full Coalition control of the region. Grab that gold immediately, before the Chinese or Russkies can.

Family Jewels Attack continues...

07.11.10

The Great American Dream, 2010 Update

Trailer trash. Country hick. Old MacDonald. Yessiree, Bob. That was him--Johnston Goodman III, Ph.D.--all of those things. From a stiffly pressed designer lab coat in Corporate America to muddy bib overalls and clodhoppers out in the sticks.

So it came as no surprise late yesterday afternoon when Goodman finally snapped. He stood on his rickety wooden porch, shook his fists toward the distant green horizon, and yelled to absolutely no one, “Thanks a lot, you greedy, low-life, shit-for-brains bastards!” Then he slowly sat down in his rocking chair beside his loyal dog Dammit and began to reflect.

The Great American Dream continues...

07.07.10