Injured Insurance Execs Denied Coverage
Due to ‘Act of War’

HONOLULU – When fifteen over-beveraged health insurance industry senior executives were seriously injured in a spectacular yacht explosion last Saturday morning in Watchalotsabombsahera Bay, their troubles were just beginning. Quickly plucked from the burning water by local mermaid fishermen, but suffering many broken bones, severe cuts, and burns, their luck went from bad to worse at the nearby hospital.

Because the fishermen who brought them in had clearly seen the yacht explode by striking a well marked, partially submerged World War II Japanese bomb, all fifteen were denied hospital treatment due to an ‘Act of War’ clause in each of their health insurance policies. Although dazed, mangled, and suffering from severely fractured egos, the entire cadre of insurance hotshots was unceremoniously shown out the door of the emergency room after the coverage denials, given just a box of Band-Aids and a Great Britain travel brochure.

The injured consisted of the top officials of each of the largest U.S. health insurance companies, United Healthcare, Wellpoint, Aetna, Humana, and Cigna. The group was in Hawaii attending the ‘Just Say No’ trade show and conference to explore ways of improving industry profits by reducing costs. Ironically, the ‘Act of War’ coverage denial clause had been adopted industry-wide following the same conference just last year.

07.28.09

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