Cause of Erectile Dysfunction Identified by Lackanookie

INTERCOURSE, PA - Despite decades of research by drug companies around the world, the cause of male erectile dysfunction remained elusive--until today.  Dr. Dick Lackanookie, Head of Research at the Bunny Bop Ranch, just released results of his ten year study of men aged 40 to 90 which conclusively established an inverse frequency proportionality link.

Detailed records kept over the past decade by the Ranch's "hostesses" of each client's performance following an "encounter" were examined for such factors as:  time to full erection, duration, quality for both participants, and repeat attempts.  The results clearly showed that symptoms of erectile dysfunction increased with decreasing frequency of encounters.

Clients with four or more encounters per week over the 10 years exhibited absolutely no negative performance symptoms regardless of age.  Erectile issues began to increase rapidly once encounter frequency dropped beyond once per week, and were pervasive at two week or longer intervals.  Said Dr. Lackanookie, "In layman's terms, it's 'Use It Or Lose It'."

Dr. Lackanookie stressed that these results were a significant call to action.  "Erectile dysfunction is completely avoidable.  Ladies, your man's sexual health is directly in your, uh, hands.  The male simply requires intercourse four or more times a week from age 40 on.  Do that and no little purple pills will ever be needed."

05.20.09

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