Economists Declare Recession Over: Trick or Treat?

FRIGHTLANDER, WI - As Halloween again approaches, there’s one costume already scaring the bejeezus out of anyone who encounters it: the economist. At first glance, it’s a mild-mannered, geeky accountant, with printing calculator for one hand, front pockets sporting snazzy plastic pocket-protectors stuffed with red ink pens and mechanical pencils, side pockets overflowing with ticker tape strips, receipts, Wall Street Journals, boxes of No-Doz, and pink slips of paper. But further inspection suggests it’s actually the Grim Reaper, with a deep hood for hiding the face, chains and bones around the torso, and razor-sharp scythe for the other hand. Oh the horror.

Already this week several “economists,” these numbers-spouting creatures from the bowels of the deep, have forced their way into U.S. newspaper headlines eerily claiming, “The recession is over. Do not worry. The recession is over. Be happy.” Dare we believe them, desperately hoping it to be true? Or are they merely sick, twisted, monsters out to inflict pain and suffering in the spirit of Halloween? Haven’t economists already gotten their fill of inducing misery among Americans this past year?

A sulfur-reeking agent of the dark side economist may one day quite soon come knocking at your front door, insisting “It’s safe to come out and play again,” and that “It's time to invest everything you have in the stock market again. Trick or treat.” Do not listen to them. Do not invite them inside. Remember what they did around Halloween 2008, and again during the 2009 Ides of March. And above all, don’t give them any candy. That just encourages them to come back every year.

10.15.09