Big Pharma "Bad News" Conspiracy
Triggered ’08-‘09 Recession

HOBROKEN, NJ - In August 2007, with the U.S. economy going gangbusters and the stock market reaching euphoric all-time highs, this nation’s major pharmaceutical companies were depressed. Don’t want to come out and play depressed. Can’t see for the dark, heavy, soul-crushing clouds depressed. Because the country’s mood was so rosy, the American population felt great, didn’t go to doctors, and wasn’t prescribed more drugs, which led to big pharma not raking in its usual aircraft-carrier-loads of cash. Desperate to sell more pills, the geniuses running the drug companies then conspired to unleash a steady smattering of fictitious bad news to media outlets, hoping to trigger a nationwide case of depression and anxiety.

Unfortunately, the discouraging headlines their rumor mills unleashed, such as ‘U.S. Banks Out of Control,’ ‘Nation’s Homes Vastly Overpriced,’ and ‘Credit Cards Overused,’ turned out to be far too effective. Big pharma’s news manipulators had merely wanted to darken the nation’s mood enough to send people rushing to doctors’ offices with headaches, the blues, and uneasiness, expecting to benefit from the resulting upswing in new prescriptions. Instead, the pill pushers’ completely fabricated negative news campaign pushed the entire national economy careening off a cliff.

Sure, people did quickly develop ulcers and everything else, but millions upon millions of Americans also lost their jobs, and with that, lost their health insurance and prescription drug coverage. Net result? A U.S. population with mental and physical problems out the wazoo, but no money for either doctors or pills.

Likely the strategic business debacle of the century, this drug industry push to increase profits with a little negative news instead completely blew up in their faces and precipitated the 2008-2009 ‘Perfect Storm of Recessions.’ Now it’s only the pharmaceutical executives going to doctors and getting new prescriptions for antidepressants, ulcer busters, and anti-anxiety pills. Those few that still have their jobs, that is.

08.03.09

Humor Volcano's store commemorates a tragic day in fake news history.

Coffee bean supertanker sinks. Oh the horror! Mugs & steins
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