Mideast Peace Pursuit Ends
With Stunning Double Homicide

CAMP DAVID, Maryland — The world numbly mourns today after Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas both incredibly fell victims of double homicide late last night at the remorseless, appallingly jubilant hands of U.S. President Barack Obama.

Ironically in America for a week of Mideast peace talks brokered by Obama himself, last night’s friendly three-participant round-table exchange of words nevertheless ended shockingly on Obama’s ruthless act.

The evening had begun quietly enough, with President Obama inviting the two Middle Eastern adversaries to Rambo Cabin for Cuban cigars, Kentucky Gentleman bourbon, and a board game after a yummy Mickey D drive-thru dinner.

Unfortunately as the evening, whiskey shots, and game turns progressed, the atmosphere slowly but steadily deteriorated into highly contentious exchanges among the proud, intellectual men.

Voices and tempers eventually rose, then threats and challenges shot wildly back and forth around the table. As testosterone levels soared and the atomic Dora the Explorer clock ticked toward eleven, shaken witnesses later described the tension as “scarier than hunting hungry bears beside Dick Cheney.”

Finally, as the cuckoo crowed, President Obama smiled broadly and made a sudden, devastating move. Leaping to his feet and shouting, “Who’s your daddy!,” Obama’s hands blazed into action. Netanyahu and Abbas instinctively recoiled, but their fates were sealed.

History will record that, amidst the decades-long Mideast peace process, last night’s decisive confrontation between Israeli, Palestinian, and United States’ big kahunas at long last yielded a single, clear victor.

The American Chief Executive hammered his final, killer tiles onto a preexisting O on the grid. H-O-M-I-C-I-D-E. Triple letter score on the H. Double word score for the C. Seven-tile bonus. Losers’ tiles bonus. One hundred thirty-two point comeback. Game over.

The American President, the only man left standing, emerged from Rambo Cabin, arms raised and fists clenched. Scrabble champion.

09.03.10

tags: satire, fake news, humor, comedy, funny, spoof, political satire, Mideast, peace talks, double homicide, Netanyahu, Abbas, Obama, Scrabble