U.S. Congress Fails 7th Grade Economics Pop Quiz

WASHINGTON, DC — When it comes to money, current U.S. Congress members are even more incompetent than the American public had ever suspected. Sadly, President Obama proved it when he surprised the nation’s lawmakers with a written financial pop quiz at a joint Capitol Hill session early this morning.

The President borrowed the multiple choice test from Ms. Gayna Proffitt’s 7th grade Economics and Social Studies class at the Moe Howard Middle School in Bumfuct, Mississippi. Whereas Ms. Proffitt’s students had scored a solid 93 on a 100 point scale just last week, America’s sitting Senators and Representatives today attained a shameful average score of just 12.

Certainly, their embarrassingly abysmal basic economics quiz results do not bode well for America’s incumbent federal politicians as they seek reelection. With their financial ineptitude now publicly confirmed and quantified, these officeholders should expect a sound thrashing when voters go to the polls this November. Count on their wanna-be Congressional opponents boning up in 7th grade Econ classrooms all across the country in the interim weeks, arming themselves to fix what the incumbents could not.

The current U.S. Congressmen’s and Congresswomen’s responses on Obama’s pop quiz leave little doubt why America’s economy has gone completely to hell in their hands. To exemplify the egregious level of their financial acumen, test yourself below with random questions from Ms. Proffitt’s quiz, then compare your answers to those of the duly elected U.S. federal officials:

1. The role of money is _____.
  a. to give and accept as bribes
  b. to pay prostitutes without leaving a paper trail
  c. to snort cocaine through like a straw
  d. to purchase goods and services

2. An unemployed worker _____.
  a. has a job at the United Nations
  b. is seeking but cannot find a job
  c. is a lazy freeloading bum
  d. better have a rich spouse

3. A successful business must _____.
  a. pay no taxes
  b. sell marijuana and narcotics on the side
  c. show blatant sex in advertising
  d. provide something of value and earn a profit

4. An attractive financial loan _____.
  a. comes from a banker with a smokin’ hot body
  b. is one you’ll never repay
  c. will produce more income when spent or invested than it costs in interest
  d. is best repaid with another loan from somewhere else

CORRECT ANSWERS: 1 - d, 2 - b, 3 - d, 4 - c.

Capitol Hill answers:
1. a (56%), b (26%), c (6%), d (12%)
2. a (24%), b (3%), c (57%), d (16%)
3. a (11%), b (2%), c (74%), d (13%)
4. a (19%), b (31%), c (8%), d (42%).

If you scored better than the U.S. Congress, strongly consider running for office yourself. The American nation needs you. Desperately.

08.18.10