World Court Overturns
Law of the Jungle
THE HAGUE - Chalk up a major legal victory for the old, the weak, the frail, the small, and the stupid. The World Court, the highest judicial body on Earth, this morning abolished as highly flawed and blatantly discriminatory possibly the oldest law on the planet--the Law of the Jungle.
The landmark case, Connochaetes taurinus vs. Panthera leo, was argued by the African Civil Liberties Union on behalf of the meek and intellectually challenged wildebeest of the Serengeti grasslands.
Utterly fed up after untold millenia of harassment and abuse at the hands (or more precisely, long, razor-sharp claws and large pointy teeth) of the odius predatory lions, the wildebeests finally sought justice at the highest legal level possible.
The evidence produced on the wildebeests’ behalf was irrefutable--a multitude of videotapes from BBC, Nova, National Geographic, and Wild Kingdom documentaries showing, in graphic, gory detail, every manner of wildebeest mistreatment by the accused lions, up to and including murder in broad daylight and heinous, unspeakable corpse abuse.
Law of the Jungle continues...